From "Detox"

[Cut to Cuddy, in her office.  From her office she can see House impatiently picking up his Vicodin.]                                                                                                                 House: Come on, come on, come on, come on… [As soon as House gets the bottle, he dry-swallows a couple pills.  Cuddy catches up to him on his way out the clinic doors.         Cuddy: You know, there are other ways to manage pain.                                             House: Like what, laughter?  Meditation?  Got a guy who can fix my third chakra?       Cuddy: You’re addicted.                                                                                            House: If the pills ran my life I’d agree with you, but it’s my leg busy calendaring what I can’t do.                                                                                                                 Cuddy: You’re in denial.                                                                                         House: Right, I never had an infarction in my leg, no dead muscle, no nerve damage.  Doesn’t even hurt. [he presses the button for the elevator]  Actually, it kind of tickles.  The chicks dig this. [raises cane]  Better than a puppy.                                                     Cuddy: It’s not just your leg.  You wanna get high!  You’re doing what, 80 mg a day House: Oh, that’s way too much!  Moderation is the key.  Unless there’s pain.          Cuddy: It’s double what you were taking when I hired you.                                      House: ‘Cause you’re twice as annoying.                                                                  Cuddy: I can’t always be here to protect you.  Patients talk.  Doctors talk. [elevator doors open]                                                                                                                      House: About how big your ass has gotten lately?  Not me, I defend it.  You got back.  [They walk into the full elevator.]                                                                                   [Cut to House and Cuddy walking out of the elevator.]                                               Cuddy: You can’t go a week without your drugs.                                                     House: No, I don’t want to go a week without the drugs, it’ll hurt.                             Cuddy: No, you can’t.  If you’re just getting off pain medication, it will hurt, you won’t be having a great time, but you’ll make it.  If you’re detoxing you’ll have chills, nausea… your pain will magnify five, ten times.  You won’t make it.                                                House: Well, I guess we’ll never know.                                                                   Cuddy: I’ll give you a week off clinic duty if you can go a week off narcotics.           House: No way!  I love the clinic.                                                                           Cuddy: You love the pills.  Two weeks.                                                                   House: Pills don’t make me high.  They make me neutral.                                        Cuddy: A month.  [A pause.  House reaches into his pocket and pulls out his Vicodin.] House: You’re on, mister. [He throws the pills to Cuddy, who looks positively giddy.]

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