From "The Socratic Method"

Cuddy:  Good morning, Dr. House!                                                                             House:  Good morning, Dr. Cuddy!  Love that outfit.  Says, I’m professional, but I’m still a woman.  Actually, it sorta yells the second part.                                                            Cuddy:  Yeah, and your big cane is real subtle too.                                                       House:  Gotta go.  [ walks away ]  Those running noses aren’t just gonna start walking on their own.                                                                                                                          Cuddy:  The clinic can wait.                                                                                              House:  [ stops ]  How long?  Maybe we could catch a movie.                                     Cuddy:  You should know by now my doctors have no secrets from me.                         House:  I don’t believe it.  Who came running to Mommy?                                          Cuddy:  It doesn’t matter who.  The point is, I know exactly what you did.                           House:  [ realizes she’s bluffing ]  You have no idea what I’m talking about.                 Cuddy:  [ walking over to him ]  Somebody knows about a bad thing you did – that’s a big field.  But somebody you think might have told me, that narrows it down quite a bit.  Someone who views me as a maternal authority figure. A young person, perhaps…  How am I doing?  You think I’m gonna get there?  Presumably hospital business.  How many patients…            House:  It’s Cameron.  She… found out about my birthday.  I thought she told you, and I’d have to stand here and smile while you gave me a sweatshirt or a fruit basket, you know, made me feel that deep sense of belonging.                                                                           Cuddy:  Actually, I was just gonna remind you, you owe me six clinic hours this week.    House:  Oops. [ walks away; Cuddy walks over and picks up phone ]                          Cuddy:  Hi, this is Dr. Cuddy.  I need all the charts on Dr. House’s current patients. [ throws birthday card in wastebasket ]

--------------------

[ House is washing his face in the men’s room as Cuddy walks in ]                               House:  Ooh, girl in the boys’ bathroom.  Very dramatic.  Must be very important what you have to say to me.  [ dries hands and face on paper towel ]                                                     Cuddy:  Yesterday your patient’s tumor was 5.8 centimeters.  Today it’s 4.6.  How did that happen?                                                                                                                     House:  At a guess, I’d say “Dr. House must be really really good – why am I wasting him on hiccups?”  I wash before and after.  [ walks over to urinal ]                                          Cuddy:  You also requisitioned 20cc of ethanol -- what patient was that for? Or are you planning a party?                                                                                                        House:  [ over his shoulder ]  Do me a favor…?                                                                    [ Cuddy turns on water faucet ]                                                                                            House: I was gonna say “leave,” but that works.                                                                Cuddy:  You shrunk the tumor!                                                                                      House:  Only way to get the guy to do the surgery…                                                           Cuddy:  Fraud!  Fraud was the only way.  There is a reason that we have these guidelines.      House:  I know – to save lives.  Specifically doctors’ lives, and not just their lives but their lifestyles.  Wouldn’t wanna operate on anyone really sick – they might die and spoil our stats. Cuddy:  Bergen has a right to know what he is operating on.                                            House:  True.  I got all focused on her right to live, and forgot.  You do what you think is right.

<< back  -  next >>