From "Control"

 

[Cut to Vogler and Cuddy walking in the hallway.]

Vogler: I want to run this place like a business.

Cuddy: What, you want to put more vending machines in the hallway?  Maybe a roulette wheel?

Vogler: Nice one.  But I’m serious.  The product that you’re selling is good health, it shouldn’t be a tough sell.  You don’t want to sell, it means people don’t care about your product.  You care if people are healthy, or are you too proud for that? [Cuddy looks insulted, but Vogler looks over her and sees…] Who’s that? [A yo-yo, being played with by one Dr. House.]

Cuddy: That’s, uh, just one of our doctors.

Vogler: Aren’t doctors supposed to wear lab coats. [House lifts his head slightly to eavesdrop.]

Cuddy: He’s… different.

Vogler: Everyone’s buddy.

Cuddy: No, not exactly.

Vogler: Then why does he get away with it?

Cuddy: It’s just a coat.  He’s very good.

Vogler: Hmm.  [He walks off.]

 

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[Cut to Cuddy and House getting out of the elevator.]

Cuddy: I need you to wear your lab coat.

House: I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you.  Like half your age. 

Cuddy: Wear the coat.

House: Man oh man.  Someone got spanked real good this morning.

Cuddy: Guy gives $100 million to cure cancer, pretty small concession to wear a lab coat.

House: Cure cancer.  Is the hospital getting out of the dull business of treating patients?

Cuddy: You know that’s not what he’s doing.

House: I know exactly what he’s doing.  He’s using us to run clinical trials.

Cuddy: Oh, shame on him!  Saving lives like that!

House: [entering his office] It’s unethical. [Cuddy follows.]  Oh, are you coming in, too?  I thought I had you convinced.

Cuddy: Clinical trials save thousands of lives.

House: He’s using patients as guinea pigs.

Cuddy: Pharmaceutical companies do that every day.

House:  Are we a pharmaceutical company?  We’re gonna wind up pressuring desperate patients into choices that are bad for them, good for us.  You’re gonna compromise patient care.

Cuddy: Who the hell am I talking to?  Suddenly ethical lapses are a major concern for you?

House: What’s interesting is it suddenly doesn’t bother you.

Cuddy: So, if you ignore ethics to save one person it’s admirable, but if you do it to save a thousand you’re a bastard.  All he’s done is taken your game and gone pro.

House: He’s not going to kill a few patients.  He’s going to kill this hospital.

Cuddy: It took him three seconds to size you up, and surprise?  He doesn’t like you.  Wear the damn coat. 

 

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[Cut to Cuddy’s office.  Vogler knocks on the door.]

Cuddy: Come in.

Vogler: Thanks.  What is a “Department of Diagnostic Medicine”?

Cuddy: That’s Dr. House’s department.  They deal with cases that other doctors can’t figure out. 

Vogler: It’s a financial black hole. [He sits.]  Department costs us $3 million a year, treat one patient a week.

Cuddy: He saves one patient per week. 

Vogler: What about everyone else?  His department’s not going to find the cure for breast cancer. 

Cuddy: Uh, maybe not, but –

Vogler: Are you sleeping with House?

Cuddy: [a bit shocked] What?  No.

Vogler: But you did, right?  A long time ago? 

Cuddy: That’s an incredibly inappropriate question. 

Vogler: If your judgment is compromised by prior or current relationship, that is my business.

Cuddy: I respect him, that is all you need to know. 

Vogler: He’s still not wearing a coat.

Cuddy: Well, I told him – 

Vogler: I’m sure you did.  And yet, he’s not wearing it.  I’m just wondering if that’s a reflection on him, or on you.

 

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